AOC to raise money for Monmouth Democrats

April 1, 2019

Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is coming to Monmouth County to raise money for the Democrats 2019 campaign, MMM has learned.

“When you drive the Garden State Parkway in parts of Monmouth County, it smells like cow farts,” the freshman congresswoman from New York said in private Snap Chat. “This is the perfect place to elect Democrats to implement the New Green Deal.”

Governor Phil Murphy has offered his Blossom Cove Road home for the fundraiser. “That sounds like it will smell very nice,” Ocasio-Cortez said.


Posted: April 1st, 2019 | Author: | Filed under: April Fools, Monmouth County News, New Jersey | Tags: , , , | 4 Comments »

Jennifer Beck to run for mayor of Red Bank

April 1, 2018

Jennifer Beck

Former state Senator Jennifer Beck will launch her political comeback on Monday when she files her petitions to seek the Republican nomination for Mayor of Red Bank, MMM has learned.

“Red Bank needs leadership,” Beck said in a statement announcing her candidacy. “Mayor Menna is a delightful man, a great compromiser, but in his nine years in office little has changed. Taxes are too high, water rates are too high, there are too many retail vacancies, and parking is a nightmare. The governing body is running in place and playing petty politics.”

Red Bank Republicans did not nominate a candidate for mayor when they met to choose their municipal candidates last Thursday evening, opting to give Democrat Mayor Pat Menna a free pass into office for the third time.  Menna has not been challenged since he beat John Curley in 2006 when the then Red Bank councilmen faced off to replace Ed McKenna as leader of the borough. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: April 1st, 2018 | Author: | Filed under: April Fools, Monmouth County News | Tags: , , , , | 4 Comments »

Hornik Changes Parties, Will Lead Marlboro GOP Ticket in November

Marlboro Mayor Jon Hornik

Marlboro Mayor Jon Hornik

Marlboro, April 1, 2015- Mayor Jon Hornik quietly changed his party affiliation from Democrat to Republican last week. On Monday, he filed his nominating petitions for reelection in the Republican primary.

Officially at this point, Hornik is an “off the line” primary opponent of Ira Goldberg, the Marlboro GOP’s choice for mayor prior to Hornik’s party switcheroo. However, Republican Party officials and attorneys are working to give Hornik the line. Hornik said that he would name Goldberg a Deputy Mayor with a portfolio in economic development and outreach to the business community.  Goldberg could not be reached for comment.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: April 1st, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: April Fools, Monmouth County | Tags: , , | 5 Comments »

Life Changing April Fools Prank, Best Ever

Posted: April 2nd, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: April Fools | Tags: , , | 1 Comment »

Curley to run for Monmouth GOP Chairman

Freeholder John Curley

Freeholder John Curley

Freehold, April 1 –Monmouth County Freeholder John P. Curley announced this morning that he will seek the Chairmanship of the Monmouth County Republican Organization when the GOP County Committee convenes to reorganize on June 10.  Curley urged current Chairman John O. Bennett, III to not seek a second term.

“Throughout my public service I have promised to bring my experience in career proven business practices to place in making Monmouth County an affordable place to live and do business.  We have made great strides and are in better shape that most counties in the country, but we can do better,” Curley said.

“We must measure our success not against the mediocrity of other government entities or other political organizations, but against the requirements of the people we serve.   We must stamp out the remnants of the culture of cronyism from our party and make service our sole focus.

“When I was elected Freeholder in 2009 I brought forth a 23 point plan to create greater efficiency and reduce the size of government.  This has been a work in progress slowed by bureaucratic inertia and political cronyism.  We can do better and we can do better faster.  I will provide the leadership to bring the Monmouth GOP and Monmouth’s county and municipal governments into the 21st century.”

“We know the Democrats are going to attack us this year based upon the Lucas and Brookdale/Burnham scandals.  I am the Republican who brought those scandals to the prosecutors and ultimately, the perpetrators to justice.  If I am leading the Monmouth GOP, the Democrats attacks will ring hollow.  The attacks will be laughable.”

” Chairman Bennett has had a distinguished career as an Assemblyman, Senator, Senate President and Acting Governor. When John ran for Chairman two years ago, he said he promised to remove perceived and real conflicts from County politics and said serving as Chairman would be a nice way for him to cap off his career.

“I thank Chairman Bennett for his service and urge him to go out on top.”

Curley sent his first mailer to members of the County Committee this week.  He promises a passionate and relentless campaign.

Posted: April 1st, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: April Fools, John Bennett, John Curley, Monmouth GOP | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments »

O’Scanlon Sees Light on Red Light Cameras!

Little Silver, April 1- Asm  Declan O’Scanlon (R-13) today announced that he had an epiphany early  Easter Sunday morning – now sees light regarding the true reason for supposed  highway safety rules and regulations!

“I  can’t believe how long I’ve been so misguided and naive!” said O’Scanlon.   “All this time just not getting it!  It’s all about the money!   Huge piles of money for local officials to spend in their budgets, more  piles of money for campaigns of compliant state elected officials and truckloads  of the stuff for lobbyists!  Hell, in at least one instance we have actual  “gifts” given by a camera company to officials running a program”.

“I  just never visualized the potential.  I was always focused on the fact that  our traffic laws and enforcement methods should be justified by sound  engineering and focused on actually increasing safety.  What an idiot! Now  though, unburdened by the shackles of actually caring about any of those  irrelevant concerns, I see the true potential of the tools we have at our  disposal.”

O’Scanlon  invited legislators to join him in not only abandoning the effort to end the red  light camera program or – even make it more fair to motorists – and actually go  the other direction.  O’Scanlon’s new plan calls for cameras at every light  at every intersection.  He goes further and calls or the installation of  new traffic lights at EVERY intersection.   “Imagine the revenue  potential!” he exclaimed. “But we can do even more!  Part of my legislation  will eliminate yellow lights all together.  Every single time a light  change we’ll nail a few unsuspecting suckers – kind of like now except we’ll  nail even more!  Another section of the legislation will mandate that every  motorist come to a full stop every 100 feet.  We’ll tell them it’s for  “safety”, really!”

Other  sections of O’Scanlon’s legislation would lower speed limits to 15 mph.   “People won’t be able to leave their driveways without breaking the law.   Think of the $ we’ll make!!!” said O’Scanlon. “The entire, brilliant  package will be called the Road Improvement Program to Promote Outstanding  Freeway Focus – RIPPOFF, for short!  I have probably just begun to scratch  the surface here” conceded O’Scanlon.  “I am sure over the next few weeks  and months we’ll come up with even more ways to attack out constituents  innocently driving to work or to their kids schools or music lessons.  This  program will be like a vacuum of their hard earned money.  And we have the  pioneering red light camera program to thank for starting us down this  path!”

And  happy April 1, everyone.
Posted: April 2nd, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: April Fools, Declan O'Scanlon, Humour, Press Release | Tags: , , | Comments Off on O’Scanlon Sees Light on Red Light Cameras!

Democrats To Announce New Slate In 13th Legislative District

Hornik, D’Amico and Mallet will team up to target the “safe” Republican district

Jon HornikHazlet-April 1  Monmouth County Democrats spent the holiday weekend scrambling to collect petition signatures for a new slate of candidates for State Senate and General Assembly in the 13th Legislative District, according to a Democrat who does not want to be known for speaking to a Republican blogger.   Marlboro Mayor Jon Hornik will be the Senate candidate. Former freeholders John D’Amico and Amy Mallet will be the Assembly candidates.

Petitions are due in Trenton today.

Barbara Buono, the presumed Democratic nominee for governor, Senate President Steve Sweeney and Assembly Speaker Shelia Oliver each called the new candidates to promise amble funds to wage the general election race, even if the incumbents prevail in the GOP primary.
Chairman Vin Gopal  believes the 13th district will be in play should the expected Bayshore Tea Party Group backed slate led by former congressional candidate Leigh-Ann Bellew for Senate win the Republican primary against incumbent Senator Joe Kyrillos and Assembly members Amy Handlin and Declan O’Scanlon.   The BTPG will announce the rest of their slate, as well as the freeholder and sheriff candidate, this afternoon after their petitions are filed.cheap jumpers for sale

John D'Amico

“The Tea Party has beat the Monmouth Republican line every time they’ve tried,” said the source, “Anna Little beat the GOP organization twice and David Corsi did it in 2010.  We’re betting they will do it again.  In a race where the Republican candidates are running an anti-abortion, pro-gun campaign, we believe the district will vote for proven vote getters like Mayor Hornik, Judge D’Amico and Freeholder Mallet.”

The candidates nominated at the Monmouth Democratic Convention in February, Rutgers Professor Sean Dunne for Senate, and Assembly candidates Matthew Morehead, a dog groomer and Allison Friedman, a public defender, have agreed to resign their candidacies and not file their petitions.

AmyMallet_Web“Having a strong legislative team will help Barbara Buono.  There is no way Governor Christie carries Monmouth County by the margins he did in 2009 if he has Tea Party running mates in the 13th.  We’ll be forcing Christie to spend time and money in Monmouth he would not have had to with Kyrillos, Handlin and O’Scanlon on his ticket.”


Posted: April 1st, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: 2013 Election, April Fools, Humour | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments »

You can fool some of the people some of the time…..

Monmouth County GOP nominee for Congress Ernesto Cullari’s campaign manager, Charles Measley, just called from Trenton where he and Cullari were filing petitions with 319 signatures for the 6th District GOP primary election.

Measley said that a reporter from The Star Ledger asked Cullari what he thought of Anna Little quitting politics to become a singer.

Cullari told the reporter he didn’t know what to think and that Little seems to keep changing her mind about what office she wants to seek, according to Measley.

In case you missed it, yesterday was April 1.

Measley said that by the time he left the Secretary of State’s office at about 1PM, neither Little or anyone from her team had arrived to file petitions. No fooling.  The deadline is 4PM.


Little arrived at the Secretary of State’s office to file her petitions at about 2:30.

Posted: April 2nd, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: April Fools | Tags: , , , , | 5 Comments »

Little Quits Politics, Launches Musical Career

Falling short of the required 200 signatures to be a candidate for Congress, former Highlands Mayor Anna Little announced this morning that she is quitting politics and launching a career as a singer.

In an email blast to supporters the former freeholder and 2010 GOP nominee for Congress from New Jersey’s 6th district said,

“I have come to the conclusion that I can do more to serve we the people, born and unborn, with my God given musical talent than I can in the rough and tumble world of politics.   We have made a difference together, you and I, over the last two years that has given rise to certain opportunities that you made possible.

Governor Chris Christie has offered me the opportunity to sing the National Anthem at Super Bowl XLVIII at MetLife Stadium.  Texas Governor Rick Perry said he would have me sing the Anthem at the Cowboys-Giants game in Arlington this November.  Christie and Perry have promised to put a good word in for me with the 2013 Inaugural Committee to sing at President Romney’s swearing in ceremony or at the very least at one of the balls.

Ernesto Cullari has introduced me to his contacts at Disney.  Their talent scout thinks I can be the next Angela Lansbury, who according to Disney’s site is everyone’s cup of tea.  I could be next in line to play Mrs. Potts in the sequel and reprises of Beauty and the Beast on film and on Broadway.

In the meantime, I will be replacing the Kate Smith recording of God Bless America during the daily sunset ceremony at the Sea Gulls Nest at Sandy Hook.  Proprietor  Ed Segall is a big Pallone supporter.  Given the opportunity to serve we the people, born and unborn, with my musical talent, it is just not right to put my new employer in such an uncomfortable position.  I can see Sandy Hook from my house.”

Little, who lost the Monmouth GOP endorsement for Congress in the 6th district to Cullari, had counted on the Middlesex GOP to deliver the 200 required signatures during the convention that nominated her last Saturday, March 24.  However, at the end of the day, there was only 75 signatures.  Little collected another 135 signatures last week.  Upon learning that Cullari had filed 500 signatures with the NJ Secretary of State on Friday, including those of 120 Middlesex County GOP convention delegates, Little realized that her petition would probably not survive a challenge given the duplicate signatures.

Little’s email continued:

This is not the end of Anna’s Army, but a new beginning.  With my voice, we the people, born and unborn, can transform the culture of our country that you have been working so hard to save. 

My backup chorus will be known as Anna’s Army.  You can participate by volunteering to sing in the chorus, buying our CD’s and downloading songs from our soon to be launched website, or by making Little contributions. 

All the Little contributions you make will go to the same work they have always gone to, just in a different form.

Posted: April 1st, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: April Fools | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments »