Nancy Pelosi: An American treasure

Stuart Moskovitz, Not Nancy Pelosi

Not Nancy Pelosi

By Stuart J. Moskovitz

By now most people are aware that Jonathan Gruber has stated on several occasions over the last few years that in order to pass Obamacare, it was necessarily to 1. Lie to Congress and the American people, and 2. Depend on the “stupidity” of the American voter to accept this health care act.

Nancy Pelosi, the representative from Pacific Heights, and currently the second scariest resident of Pacific Heights, second only to Jim Belushi’s character in the movie of the same name, claims that she has no idea what he is talking about, because she never met him and has no idea who he is. As the major force behind the passage of Obamacare in the House, even more than Frank Pallone, who declared as “lousy” every insurance policy purchased by Americans prior to Obamacare, including those policies covering procedures no longer covered by Obamacare, and costing far less than Obamacare, Nancy Pelosi’s statement would carry considerable weight. If this were still 1995. Today, of course, we have social media recording just about everything said by anyone in public view. This includes the speech by Nancy Pelosi in 2009 when she assured everyone that Obamacare was a perfect health plan because it was carefully written by Jonathan Gruber of MIT, the person who she claims now did not write the plan and whom she had never heard of.

This leaves us with only two conclusions. Either Nancy Pelosi has been possessed by aliens and is not the same Nancy Pelosi who met with Jonathan Gruber and praised him in 2009, or, at the tender age of 74, she is simply no longer in compos mentis. I guess the third choice would be that she is simply a pathological liar.

Not sure which of these applies to her, I undertook to interview her and recorded this transcript of the interview:

Q. Good morning, Representative Pelosi, how are you?
A. I don’t know if it is a good morning. I won’t know until later. We have to live through the morning to see if it is a good one or not. And I’m being interviewed by a Republican, so that’s not a good sign right there.

Q. Representative Pelosi, many people are wondering based on your statements of the last six years, whether at the tender age of 74, you are still equipped for this position. How do you respond to that.
A. That’s silly Tea Party propaganda. I am not 74.
Q. Not to quibble, but weren’t you born in 1940?
A. How would you know that? Have you seen my birth certificate? I know you Republicans like to go about getting birth certificates, but I don’t believe you’ve seen mine.
Q. That’s true, ma’am. But your own website says you were born in 1940.
A. I don’t read my website and I am certainly not responsible for whatever anyone with access to the website may choose to put on the website.
Q. How old, then, do you believe you are?
A. I’m not old, at all. That’s a deceptive statement on your part. Frankly, I don’t know my age. I wasn’t paying attention when I was born and am simply taking my parents’ word for it.

Q. Let’s move on then, madam. When you were at Trinity Washington University, did you take any political science classes?
A. Why do you assume I went to Trinity Washington University?
Q. Again, this information appears in your own biography.
A. Well, I may have attended, but I am certainly not responsible for all of the courses offered there, the curriculum, or the other students.
Q. We are not suggesting otherwise Ms. Pelosi. I was merely laying the foundation that you went there.
A. Well, I don’t like foundations. I don’t like them in interviews and I don’t like them in legislation, so let’s move on.

Q. Fine. If there is a single individual other than the President who has received the most scorn over Obamacare, it is Kathleen Sebelius. Do you know Kathleen Sebelius?
A. I didn’t appoint her, the President did. How would I know her? I’ve never heard the name.
Q. Mrs. Pelosi, didn’t she attend Trinity Washington University just like you?
A. Ha. Typical Republican. You have no grasp of the facts. She went to the University of Kansas.
Q. Well, I’m impressed that you know where someone you never heard of went to school, but she went to the University of Kansas for graduate school. She graduated from Trinity Washington University for undergraduate work just like you. Were you the reason this singularly inept person was appointed to head the health and human services division?
A. How could I be. I told you I’ve never heard of her. Republicans just never listen.

Q. Mrs. Pelosi, did you have anything to do with the appointment of Cathleen Black?
A. Who? Is this another fake person like Jonathan Gruber?
Q. I believe Mr. Gruber is very real, Mrs. Pelosi. Cathleen Black, a fellow alumna of Trinity Washington University was appointed as New York City School Chancellor, a position in which she served for 95 days until she was forced out because she did not possess the education administration experience required by New York State’s Education Department.
A. Well, don’t you think it made sense to appoint her to see if she was qualified?

Q. Ms. Pelosi, one final question. Now that the Republicans are in control of both houses of Congress, how do you envision your role in the House of Representatives.
A. Why do you assume the Republicans are in control?
Q. Well, they won the midterm elections, expanding their control of the House and gaining control of the Senate.
A. So? Why would that matter? You Republicans are so hung up on trivial details. I intend to continue assuring that Barack Obama does whatever he wants to do. He is our king, after all.
Q. You mean President, don’t you?
A. Sure, whatever makes you feel better.

Posted: November 14th, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: Congress, Frank Pallone, Nancy Pelosi, Opinion, Satire | Tags: , , , , | 6 Comments »

6 Comments on “Nancy Pelosi: An American treasure”

  1. Pelosi - An American Treasure? said at 4:35 pm on November 14th, 2014:

    Well then, let’s bury it! 🙂

  2. Kathy Baratta said at 9:21 pm on November 14th, 2014:

    Sorry Stuart, but Jim Belushi wasn’t even in the movie, “Pacific Heights.” That was Michael Keaton’s role.

    Some might wonder what else you got wrong if you couldn’t even get the easy part right. Not me though, I’m familiar with how you work…

  3. trouble in marlboro said at 8:36 am on November 17th, 2014:

    wow this sounds just like jon hornik. he will be quoted in the newspaper and when asked about it later he has amnesia. example. gave sweetheart deal to developer buddy, pilot program, only paying 400,000 a year. said only 53 kids coming to district, in 250 un age restricted apartments. but new study says over 206 students coming at 13,000 a child. thats around 2.7 million. good deal for developer not so good for town of marlboro. when asked about this at one of his strong holds in greenbriar, he said i never said that. come on pelosi, i mean johnny. its in the transcript, remember, you and your rutger’s study. maybe its a democrat malfunction? they cant help but lie.

  4. Now Kathy said at 8:53 pm on November 17th, 2014:

    It’s been quiet and respectable here for a bit. There is no need for an insulting tone.

    To be honest, Stuart’s writing, especially here is a bit of a fresh way of commenting. After all, for humor to be effective, it has to have one of it’s feet grounded in reality.

    As well, you could also apply this commentary to Obama and his refusal to acknowledge Gruber. He’s sounding like Judas betraying Christ.

    Jim Granelli


  5. Brillo head always starting her usual Garbage said at 11:02 am on November 18th, 2014:

    She is still pissed off at Stu when he was the Mayor of Manalapan and she covered the municipal meetings as a reporter with the Transcript.

    I thought she said she would never post here again.

  6. Jim Granelli said at 5:57 pm on November 18th, 2014:

    @ Brillo head.

    Personally I think that name was over the top, but then a lot of crap goes on here. Take it, I know.

    Not defending her, but Baratta does seem fickle to me.