Gay Marriage and The Church

By Bader George Qarmont

Bader-Qarmout-portrait-picAs New Jersey became the 14th state in the Union to license gay marriage, I am left wondering why and what is next. Will this judicial activism have any impact on churches? Some may think I am over reacting, but I fear that the church is 15-25 years away from being forced to perform same sex marriage or risk losing tax exemption for discrimination. A Pastor threating to close his church doors before doing so, is no threat at all.

If a church wants to continue to practice the Biblical definition of marriage, it needs to protect itself.  I see a potential for litigation to force a church to marry same sex couples, as is already happening in England. Barrie Drewitt-Barlow, The gay plaintiff in the legal challenge in England said “The only way forward for us now is to make a challenge in the courts against the church.” It is a matter of time before American churches are also legally challenged.  

Currently most churches will marry non-members in a religious ceremony at the church, this practice must end immediately and new policy implemented as soon as possible.  I believe churches should have a policy to only marry members.  In order to be a member each person must sign a statement of faith that includes acceptance of the Biblical definition of marriage. Anyone can attend the church but only members can be married in the church.

This change and implementation must be done immediately in order to protect the church and show a written history before any problems arise. Some may say that this is a solution looking for a problem. Waiting to have a problem first and change rules later is not wise and will not legally work. It is important to show a court of law that this is not a last minute change or reaction to litigation, but rather a long standing written policy that is known and agreed to by all members.

A couple could attend and be married in a church that allows gay ceremonies.  Plenty of churches already marry gay couples, such as the United Church of Christ and the Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations, already accept gay marriage. The Episcopal Church allows each bishop to decide whether to allow the ceremony in their own diocese. 

As we try to deal with the ever changing laws and their social implications we must remember that it is not the person, but the behavior that we Biblically object to.  As a Christians, it is important to love the person even when we do not biblically agree with their behavior. None of us are without sin and all fall short, but Biblical principles must be defended and preserved.



Posted: November 10th, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Bader George Qarmout, Gay Marriage, marriage, Marriage Equality, Opinion, Religion, Same Sex Marriage | Tags: , , , , | 8 Comments »

8 Comments on “Gay Marriage and The Church”

  1. Trying to stay relevant said at 2:15 pm on November 10th, 2013:

    Mr. Quarmout?

  2. Zanzibar said at 11:20 pm on November 10th, 2013:

    So much to say here. First, maybe churches shouldn’t be tax exempt? Just a thought. Second, why is Bader Quarmout trying to determine individual church’s policies for them? If a church wants to marry non-members, thats their prerogative. What is a “member” of a church? Is it anyone who accepts Jesus as savior? Anyone who gives money to that parish? Because most churches won’t given sacraments to people outside that faith anyway, making that a moot point. He is also assuming all “members” of a parish think the same way; I know many of gay Catholics, Bader, who are loyal parishioners. So barring “non-members” from being married wouldn’t have any effect on them….Oh, wait, he said: ” In order to be a member each person must sign a statement of faith that includes acceptance of the Biblical definition of marriage.” In other words, purge any form of free thought from the Church. Good idea! Screw the Protestant Reformation! Or the Great Schism! Just do whatever the church blindly says.

    Again, if a church wants to ban gay marriage within their religion, that is fine. But why are we making such a big deal out of this?

  3. Jimmy B said at 1:14 am on November 11th, 2013:

    God made man and women as a perfect fit for each other. That’s why when a man sleeps with a women she can reproduce. That is the mechanism that which we were made to live by. However “man” and “women” are sinful and think that they can change what God intended us as people to do with our organs.
    If you think that this is about “church” your wrong. This is about protecting what God intended and how humans live. Being a member of a church allows an organization to have policies. I am not saying church is Like Costco,but if you don’t have a membership you can’t buy from them. Gay marriage is not right and should not be allowed.

  4. Bob English said at 8:57 am on November 11th, 2013:

    @Jimmy……Since people are born either straight or gay, I assume that is what God intended.

  5. Rev. Michael J. Hahn said at 10:25 am on November 11th, 2013:

    HELL IS NOT WHAT THE WORLD THINKS;IT IS THE ABSTANCE OF LIFE LIBERTY AND PERSUIT OF GODS WILL BEING DONE! TORMENT FIRES FEAR ECT. Rev 11:4 These are the two olive trees, and the two candlesticks standing before the God of the earth.
    Rev 11:5 And if any man will hurt them, fire proceedeth out of their mouth, and devoureth their enemies: and if any man will hurt them, he must in this manner be killed.
    Rev 11:6 These have power to shut heaven, that it rain not in the days of their prophecy: and have power over waters to turn them to blood, and to smite the earth with all plagues, as often as they will.
    Rev 11:7 And when they shall have finished their testimony, the beast that ascendeth out of the bottomless pit shall make war against them, and shall overcome them, and kill them.
    Rev 11:8 And their dead bodies shall lie in the street of the great city, which spiritually is called Sodom and Egypt, where also our Lord was crucified.
    Rev 11:9 And they of the people and kindreds and tongues and nations shall see their dead bodies three days and an half, and shall not suffer their dead bodies to be put in graves.
    Rev 11:10 And they that dwell upon the earth shall rejoice over them, and make merry, and shall send gifts one to another; because these two prophets tormented them that dwelt on the earth.
    Rev 11:11 And after three days and an half the Spirit of life from God entered into them, and they stood upon their feet; and great fear fell upon them which saw them.
    Rev 11:12 And they heard a great voice from heaven saying unto them, Come up hither. And they ascended up to heaven in a cloud; and their enemies beheld them.
    Rev 11:13 And the same hour was there a great earthquake, and the tenth part of the city fell, and in the earthquake were slain of men seven thousand: and the remnant were affrighted, and gave glory to the God of heaven.
    Rev 11:14 The second woe is past; [and], behold, the third woe cometh quickly.
    Rev 11:15 And the seventh angel sounded; and there were great voices in heaven, saying, The kingdoms of this world are become the kingdoms of our Lord, and of his Christ; and he shall reign for ever and ever. OUT OF 12,000 GAYS 5,000 TURNED TO FEAR GOD BUT 7,000 DIED!

  6. Jimmy B said at 10:22 pm on November 11th, 2013:

    @Bob…. How can someone be born gay when
    God made Adam and Eve, NOT Adam and Steve! He made Adam first then he saw that he was alone and made Eve so he wouldn’t be lonely. Read Gensis

    The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. (Genesis 2:18, 21-25 NIV)

  7. Zanzibar said at 11:09 pm on November 11th, 2013:

    Seriously, this is what I got out of the above comments: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZdBuOb4CFg

  8. Ryan said at 2:01 pm on November 15th, 2013:

    I don’t think it is right at all for the Government to force churches or even private businesses to have anything to do with any kind of wedding. If I am a wedding photographer for example, I should be able to refuse gay weddings. I should be able to refuse normal weddings if I wanted to as well. Forcing people to provide services to forcibly normalize a lifestyle is not something I’m comfortable with.